Heathens in the Streets, Shamans in the Sheets: Married Couple Seeks Consent-Based Chaos and Coffee

🚨 WANTED: Emotionally intelligent, spiritually curious adults with an appreciation for sarcasm, campfires, and old nostalgic tracks from the 1950s to now. Bonus points if you can recite Monty Python’s "Lumberjack Song" from memory while debating Aleister Crowley’s marketing strategy.

We’re a pagan-married couple from Nebraska—she's a velvet hammer with ancient goddess vibes, he's a grizzled college dropout who used to try racing traffic on his mountain bike along Abbott Drive and repented. Together, we run a ministry that’s less “fire and brimstone” and more “BYOB and let’s talk about trauma and theology.”

Our outreach mission? Helping people think for themselves, even if that means they stop listening to us. (Looking at you, teenage children who just rolled their eyes.)

In our spare time, we compose music that makes goth angels weep, design boot-camp workout plans to sweat out our midlife crises, and write sermons inspired by the inconvenient truths of George Carlin, Anton LaVey, and your Aunt Sharon’s MLM detox group.

Who we’re looking for: Friends. Maybe with benefits. Or not. We're cool either way, as long as you’re not selling Amway or trying to "save" us. Must be down for deep convos about the afterlife, pop culture, and why Ozzy’s “Paranoid” might be the greatest hymn of our generation.

Are we for real?
Absolutely.
Are we messing with you?
Always.

This isn't your grandma's church group—unless your grandma was a burlesque dancer with a tarot deck and a switchblade. If you're into radical honesty, inappropriate humor, firelight philosophy, and possibly some light consensual weirdness—slide into our DMs like it’s 1997 and you're on AOL chat.

Located somewhere between cornfields and enlightenment. Preferably within driving distance of decent tacos.

Warning: May Contain Ideas, Skin, and Unapologetic Laughter

🚫 NOT your small group Bible study—unless your small group once involved a bottle or two of Jack Daniel's, candles, and an impromptu reading of Carlin’s “Seven Dirty Words” as spiritual praxis.

We’re a married Gen-X couple with ministry credentials, a soft spot for late-night existential rants, and a tendency to make Puritans sweat through their buckles. If you've ever found yourself slightly tipsy, half-naked, and deeply philosophical under the stars… then congratulations, you already understand our love language.

She’s into occasional (legal, classy, and consensual) peacocking—think less “Girls Gone Wild” and more “Goddess Gone Glorious.” He’s the type who’ll quote George Carlin, bust out an air guitar solo, and ask if you want to discuss the metaphysical implications of "Married with Children."

We practice what we preach: radical honesty, thoughtful irreverence, spiritual kink, and caffeinated truth-seeking. Sometimes intoxicated, always intentional.

Looking for kindred spirits who can laugh at the absurdity of life, flirt with new ideas (and maybe each other), and aren't afraid of the occasional wardrobe malfunction—in thought or attire. Open minds welcome. Judgy vibes get redirected to a sermon on humility.

Not poly, not preachy, just a lot more open about who we are than we used to be, with a soft spot for improv, mischief, and making morality play out like an R-rated sketch comedy. Think “Evening at the Improv,” if it were hosted by George Carlin and censored by your local school board.

Inquiries welcome. Piety optional. Humor required. Garments? Debatable.

Still spiritually grounded. Just with fewer pants and more punchlines.

Seeking the Spiritually Curious (No Creeps, No Cults, No BS)

🙏🏼 We are a married pagan couple with a ministry grounded in critical thinking, lived experience, and spiritual autonomy. Our outreach isn't about doctrine—it's about dialogue. If your idea of fellowship includes philosophy, ritual, campfire communion, and postmodern theology with a twist of George Carlin? You’ll feel right at home.

Our blog pulls no punches. It explores themes like ancestral healing, feminine embodiment, and occasional sacred psychedelia in a deeply personal and cautious way. We don’t glorify—we reflect. If you’ve ever looked into the mirror of your soul and asked, “Is this ego death, or did I just really overdo the incense?”... let’s talk.

We’re looking to build a small circle of open-minded companions—fellow seekers, soul-questioners, spiritual rebels. People who’ve been burned by institutions, yet still carry the ember of faith. Folks who can handle both uncomfortable truths and hilarious overshares.

This is not a dating ad.
It’s an invitation to community—for people who understand that emotional intimacy, spiritual curiosity, and safety are sacred. And while we flirt with irreverence, we never mess around when it comes to protecting one another.

👁‍🗨 Important Note: If your intent is to manipulate, exploit, or harm—especially my wife, who is the radiant core of this journey—you will be removed, appropriately dealt with, and spiritually disinvited. No drama. No do-overs. Just done. We guard this space with humor, grace, and a backbone made of obsidian and Midwestern sass.

If you’ve got a warm heart, a sharp mind, and enough life experience to know that sacred things sometimes come dressed in sarcasm and scandal... pull up a chair. The circle’s open.

Weirdos welcome. Wolves in sheep’s clothing? We see you coming. Don’t.

🔥 The Sacred Circle Code: House Rules for Companionship, Conduct & Chaos

Welcome to our circle. This is sacred ground wrapped in sarcasm, sealed with a shot of whiskey, and consecrated under the moonlight with bass-heavy tunes and incense that might smell suspicious.

Before you sip, strip, or speak your truth, there are a few rules you need to understand. These aren’t just house rules—they are soul vows.

  • 1. The Lady is Sacred. She is not a side quest, a curiosity, or your personal therapy project. She is the Priestess, Shieldmaiden, and Co-Commander of this ministry. Her emotional safety is non-negotiable. If she says “stay close,” she means it. If she says “not tonight,” you thank her and pass the goblet anyway.
  • 2. No One Gets Left Behind. My wife does not wander off while intoxicated or in one of her ceremonial outfits, get “borrowed,” or asked to join side rituals. She is never to be separated from me during any gathering, vibe check, or exploratory rabbit hole. It’s not just love—it’s mental health, spiritual equilibrium, and sacred tethering. Respect the thread between us.
  • 3. Consent Is the First Ritual. No touch, no tease, no vibe is assumed. We honor enthusiastic, informed, joyfully given consent—physical, emotional, and spiritual. If you're unsure, ask. If you're afraid to ask, you're not ready.
  • 4. Psychedelics Are Sacraments. Not party tricks. If used, they are approached with reverence, preparation, and shared intention. Don’t bring anything into the circle we didn’t agree on beforehand. Bad trips make bad theology.
  • 5. Music Matters. If it doesn’t groove, uplift, or help us time-travel through emotional space, we ain’t playing it. Bonus points if it’s something my wife can strut to or that makes us feel like Viking seers on acid in a jazz club.
  • 6. Laugh Like a God. We are funny, filthy, and fiercely aware. If you’re easily offended by adult beverages, bedroom humor, or the idea that God might have a nipple ring and a dad bod—this isn’t your tribe.
  • 7. No Wolves in Sheep’s Robes. Manipulators, charmers, smooth talkers, or anyone running a side hustle of spiritual exploitation will be bounced so hard they’ll land in the astral plane with whiplash. This is a safe space. Don’t test it.
  • 8. Freedom Is Sacred—But Loyalty Is the Bond. You may come and go as you please, but once inside, we expect integrity. If you breach trust, sow chaos, or act shady with my wife—you answer to both of us. And one of us has the patience of a monk. The other has a hammer named “Boundaries.”
  • 9. Bring Something Real. An offering, a story, a drumbeat, a truth you’ve never told anyone—just bring your soul. This circle runs on authenticity and mutual magic. Don’t come empty.
  • 10. Love Is Law—But It Ain’t Always Polite. This circle is about connection, not perfection. We might argue, cry, or dance naked under questionable weather patterns. But we do it together, in love, and with loyalty. If that makes you nervous, good. That’s how you know it’s real.
  • ☝️ 11. When The Lady Cannot Consent: If she is impaired or inebriated, she is off-limits—no exceptions. There is no implied consent. Only the Minister (AJ Wisti) may speak on her behalf in such moments. If he says no—or says nothing at all—do not ask again. Her safety is non-negotiable.

Footnote: All who enter here are welcome—but not all are meant to stay. This ministry was born in fire, forged through heartbreak, and tempered with laughter. Treat it accordingly.

This circle is watched over by ancestors, tricksters, and two middle-aged nerds with better playlists than your college roommate. Walk gently. Party wisely.